The Royal Half Gameday: Colorado Avalanche

Saturday, 11.23.2013 / 2:39 PM / Preview
By The Royal Half
X
Share with your Friends


The Royal Half Gameday: Colorado Avalanche
To get the full effect of The Royal Half gamedays; videos, gifs, and all please visit LAKings.com\/theroyalhalf from your phone\/tablet browser.
Disclaimer - The contents of this page have not been reviewed or endorsed by the Los Angeles Kings Hockey Club. All opinions expressed by The Royal Half are solely (and most likely) his own and do not reflect the opinions of the Los Angeles Kings or their Hockey Operations staff, parent company, partners, or sponsors. His current whereabouts are not known to the Kings and he has no access to information beyond the access and privileges that go along with being a half-season ticket holder


BEST PLAYER TO WEAR BOTH COLORS:

Yes, I totally forgot he played for the Avalanche too.

BEST OPPOSITION BLOGS:

Mile High Hockey

Av's Hockey Podcast

III Communication

BEST OPPOSITION TO FOLLOW ON TWITTER:

@AnthraxJones

@Jibblescribbits

@cherylcbradley

@AvsPodcast

@AvsFactorGeoff

WORST OPPOSITION TO FOLLOW ON TWITTER:

@Avalangelist

@Adater

@SCrociata

@Stars_Insider

OILERS + FLAMES VS THE KINGS POINTS UPDATE:

Come on, Kings. Don't make me turn this into Oilers+Sabres vs the Kings.

 

LooKING Back:

You know, hockey is a funny sport. You can spend the better part of 60+ minutes completely dominating and out-chancing the opposing team... and then you still lose 2-1 in overtime. It can be frustrating... and sometimes you just want to take your first and bang it against the wall.

Close... but Cam Janssen is slightly smarter than a wall. Slightly.

Nope.

Nailed it.

 

WHAT WE LEARNED FROM THE PAST GAME:

We learned this last Tuesday:
And then on this past Thursday, we saw it from a whole different angle:

But Jeff Carter isn't the only one getting custom suit from Alba Legacy these days:

Carter's just the only one with a goal this season to get a custom suit from Alba.

Oh wait... nevermind:

But at least Trevor Lewis is tied in points with this guy who also gets his custom suits at Alba:

LA TOURISM BOARD:

Hey... remember when the Colorado Avalanche were unbeatable and the early favorite for the 2014 Stanley Cup Champion and the LA Kings were struggling to start the season?

Nope, me neither.

So now that the Kings and Avalanche are tied in points on the season, it's time to take a closer look at the Colorado Avalanche the only way we know how... via #TeamTRH member PumperNicholl and his highly successful "Hockey Hoarders" series!!!

For those that don't know, PumperNicholl is extremely obsessed with finding the best and worst hockey memorabilia for sale on the internet. He spends 100's of hours each week scouring eBay, Craigslist and the local thrift shops in search of the elusive greatest piece of hockey memorabilia ever! And PumperNicholl has even created a ratings system for the junk memorabilia that he finds!

So I asked PumperNicholl to put together a special Colorado Avalanche episode of Hockey Hoarders... Former Players That Have Become Upper Management Edition™!!!

Take it away, Pumper!

#5 - ADAM FOOTE, AVALANCHE ASSISTANT COACH

Adam Foote - Columbus Blue Jackets Bobblehead -  Hockey Hoarders

INITIAL REACTION: 7.5

I think this is how all hockey fans remember Adam Foote.

(Apparently he played a few seasons for Colorado, too.)

USEFULNESS: 3.5

His last name is "Foote," so they gave him giant feet. It's a play on words, you see. PRICE: 2.0 Oooh! Six dollars off! With those savings you could practically buy yourself a seat to a Blue Jackets game...

Columbus Blue Jackets Ticket - Hockey Hoarders

No, really.

VALUE: 1.5

But honestly, who would want to own a bobblehead of one of the biggest free agent busts in a franchise's history? STREET CRED: 10.0 Now that I think about it, Joe Sakic probably has one of these on his desk.

FINAL SCORE: 24.5

 

#4 - ROB BLAKE, LA KINGS ASSISTANT GENERAL MANAGER

Rob Blake - Colorado Avalanche Stanley Cup -  Hockey Hoarders

INITIAL REACTION: 6.5

*anger*

*tears*

*laughter*

USEFULNESS: 5.0

Fantastic item to give to anyone who was a fan of the Kings in the mid-to-late 90s.

PRICE: 7.0

As history has taught us, anything involving Rob Blake will have a price that seems reasonable in a few years. VALUE: 6.0 It's worth at least a drawing of Adam Deadmarsh, Aaron Miller, Jared Aulin and a First Round of Crayola Colored Pencils. STREET CRED: 8.0 A masterful troll move coupled with your own sense of moving on.

FINAL SCORE: 32.5

  #3 - JOE SAKIC, AVALANCHE EXECUTIVE VICE PRESIDENT OF HOCKEY OPERATIONS

Joe Sakic - Ugly Action Figure -  Hockey Hoarders

INITIAL REACTION: 3.5

You monsters! What did you do to poor Joe Sakic?

USEFULNESS: 8.5

Well at least the back looks very information.

Joe Sakic - Ugly Action Figure facts -  Hockey Hoarders

Listed above being a Stanley Cup Champion and Conn Smythe winner:

"Member of the '88 WHL East All-Star Team."

PRICE: 8.5

The $20 shelled out on this is worth so much more solely based on the awkward laughter you'll enjoy every time this catches your eye.

VALUE: 9.0

You're telling me there are Avs fans that wouldn't want an action figure in which their franchise hero was caught in the middle of a "I just had to dig a small hole in the forest" squat position?

STREET CRED: 3.5

Bonus points if those massive eyebrows are able to move.

FINAL SCORE: 33.0

 

#2 - GREG SHERMAN, AVALANCHE GENERAL MANAGER?

Greg Sherman - Mr Potato Head Colorado Avalanche -  Hockey Hoarders

INITIAL REACTION: 10.0

THEY MADE A GREG SHERMAN DOLL?

USEFULNESS: 8.0

I guess it's more like a voodoo doll for Sakic and Patrick Roy since they can just remove its lips.

PRICE: 9.0

The randomness of this price tells you that Sherman is probably the one selling it.

VALUE: 6.0

Fortunately for the Avs, no one purchased this six months ago when it included a First Round Draft Pick in the 2014 Draft.

STREET CRED: 4.0

It's a prestigious item... in name only.

FINAL SCORE: 37.0

 

#1 - PATRICK ROY, AVALANCHE HEAD COACH AND VICE PRESIDENT OF PLAYER OPERATIONS

Patrick Roy - Colorado Avalanche Come at Me Bro Action Figure -  Hockey Hoarders

INITIAL REACTION: 10.0

The Patrick Roy "Come at Me, Bro" stance is the only stance I remember anymore.

USEFULNESS: 10.0

The only way this would be any more useful is if it came with a piece of plexiglass to mimic real life action.

#PatrickRoyingForever

 

PRICE: 7.5

*reads item location*

Sigh. Leave it Philadelphia to use up a goaltender and then get rid of him for pennies on the dollar.

VALUE: 3.0

Whatever the current value may be, it's due to regress big time.

FINAL SCORE: 40.5

     

THE ROYAL HALF GAMEDAY PREVIEW TWEET OF THE DAY

Oh... I guess there is.



The Royal Half has been a Los Angeles Kings fan since 1988 and a Half-Season Ticket Holder since 2002. He has seen the following goaltenders play in person for the Los Angeles Kings… Kelly Hrudey, Grant Fuhr, Byron Dafoe, Jamie Storr, Stephane Fiset, Felix Potvin, Cristobal Huet, Roman Cechmanek, Mathieu Garon, Adam Hauser, Jason LaBarbera, Barry Brust, Sean Burke, Dan Cloutier, Yutaka Fukufuji, Jean-Sebastien Aubin, Erik Ersberg, Jonathan Bernier and Jonathan Quick. If you like the hockey equivalent of dirty jokes or enjoy humorous screen-grabs of NHL players and broadcasters with funny captions... man, you are going to like The Royal Half. You can follow The Royal Half on Twitter at @TheRoyalHalf