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The Royal Half Preview: Kings vs. Sharks: Game 6

Sunday, 05.26.2013 / 1:58 PM / Los Angeles Kings | News
By The Royal Half
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The Royal Half Preview: Kings vs. Sharks: Game 6
Disclaimer - The contents of this page have not been reviewed or endorsed by the Los Angeles Kings Hockey Club. All opinions expressed by The Royal Half are solely (and most likely) his own and do not reflect the opinions of the Los Angeles Kings or their Hockey Operations staff, parent company, partners, or sponsors. His current whereabouts are not known to the Kings and he has no access to information beyond the access and privileges that go along with being a half-season ticket holder

Game #6

LA KINGS

27-16-5
59 pts
5th in Western Conference
vs
SAN JOSE SHARKS
25-16-7
57 pts
6th in Western Conference
 
Season Series Tied 2-2
 
Kings Lead Playoff Series 3-2
 
5:00pm, HP Pavilion
Los Angeles, CA
NBCSN, TSN, RDS
 
BEST CALIFORNIA TEAM TO WIN THE STANLEY CUP:
 

 
ONLY CALIFORNIA TEAM TO NEVER WIN THE STANLEY CUP:
 
 
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ARE THE LA KINGS IN THE NEXT ROUND?
 
 
 
Many Los Angeles Kings fans are dreading today's Game 6. No, not because they are worried that the San Jose Sharks might win and force a Game 7. Rather, LA Kings fans don't want there to be a Game 6 today because it's the same day as the release of the brand new season of Arrested Development and we want to spend all day watching it on Netflix!!!
 

So since we are forced to watch the LA Kings attempt to eliminate the San Jose Sharks from the 2013 NHL Playoffs today, we here at The Royal Half thought we'd take an in-depth look at the players and management of the LA Kings and figure out which Arrested Development character suits them best. 
 
 
DARRYL SUTTER
AS
GEORGE BLUTH, SR.
 
 
George Oscar Bluth, Sr. is the head of the Bluth Family. He is well-known for being a failure when it comes to building things... like the Cornballer
 
 
Darryl Sutter is also well-known for being bad at building things.
 
 
This is pretty much every closed-door discussion between a player and Darryl Sutter.
 


DEAN LOMBARDI
AS
LUCILLE BLUTH
 
 
Everyone knows that it's really Lucille Bluth that is the architect of  the Bluth Company. But if Lucille Bluth were the GM of the Los Angeles Kings... I highly doubt she would have taken on such damaged goods as Mike Richards, Jeff Carter and Colin Fraser.
 
 
Well, at least Dean Lombardi did send back Gibert Brule.



 
JON QUICK
AS
 MICHAEL BLUTH 

Michael Bluth is the smartest and most stable member of the Bluth Family. And much like Michael's one-time British girlfriend... Jon Quick also has an Olympic Silver Medal.

 



JEFF CARTER & MIKE RICHARDS
AS
G.O.B. & FRANKLIN DELANO BLUTH

G.O.B. is the complete showman of the Bluth Family. He is a magician and a womanizer. Who else is going to play this role besides Jeff Carter... COME ON!!!

And Jeff Carter might just have a better Chicken Dance than G.O.B.

G.O.B.'s sidekick is Franklin... a wise-cracking, jive-talking tiny puppet. Who much like Mike Richards... loves to sing



 

DREW DOUGHTY
AS
BUSTER

Buster is the youngest sibling in the Bluth Family and is also the most socially awkward. He's also terrified of birds. Just like Drew Doughty.



 

JUSTIN WILLIAMS
AS
LINDSAY BLUTH

Lindsay is the adopted twin sister who is the prettiest member of the Bluth Family. Justin Williams was acquired by trade and is the prettiest member of the LA Kings.

So pretty.




TYLER TOFFOLI
AS
GEORGE MICHAEL


 

This is actually the one casting choice that doesn't make sense as Tyler Toffoli looks way too young to play George Michael.

 

 


DUSTIN PENNER
AS
TOBIAS FÜNKE

Tobias Fünke's glory years are well behind him and now he spends his time being awful at acting. He is easily the most disrespected member of the Bluth Family. But when it comes time to perform... boy does he ever.

 


 

ANZE KOPITAR
AS
MAEBY FÜNKE

Maeby Fünke pretended to have an illness as a storyline on Arrested Development. LA Kings fans everywhere are hoping that Anze Kopitar is pretending to be injured in the 2013 NHL Playoffs.

 

 

SLAVA VOYNOV
AS
ANNYONG BLUTH

Annyong is the non-English speaking member of the Bluth Family that never smiles. Slava Voynov is... well you get the joke.

 



JARRET STOLL
AS
LUCILLE AUSTERO

Because in the 2013 NHL Playoffs... Jarret Stoll has a touch of the dizzies.



 

DUSTIN BROWN
AS
LARRY MIDDLEMAN

Larry Middleman acts as a spokesperson for the leadership of the Bluth Family. He is a consummate professional, never allowing his own persona to come through and always speaks the truth.




BRAD RICHARDSON
AS
ANN VEAL

Ann is the one character on Arrested Development that everyone forgets about.


 

ROBYN REGEHR AND JAKE MUZZIN
AS
DRAGON AND UNCLE JACK

Dragon is a deaf and mute hulking protector that enables Uncle Jack to be shot like a bullet. Robyn Regehr is a deaf and mute hulking protector that enables Jake Muzzin to fire shots from the blueline. And miss


 

ALEC MARTINEZ
AS
GENE PARMESAN

We pretty much came up with this one just so we could post this clip:

Plus we know that Alec Martinez can pull off the disguise.
 


 

TERRY MURRAY
AS
OSCAR BLUTH

Oscar is the identical and much less successful brother of George Bluth, Sr. This is the saddest joke I've ever written.



 

JON ROSEN
AS
JOHN BEARD

John Beard is the reporter who only seems to cover the comings and goings of the Bluth Family. Jon Rosen is the reporter who only seems to cover the comings and goings of the LA Kings. And Simpsons episodes.


 

BRENDAN SHANAHAN
AS
THE PRISON GUARD

 

JACK JOHNSON
AS
STEVE HOLT!

I mean... COME ON!!! Could Steve Holt be played by anyone else???

 

 

THE ROYAL HALF GAMEDAY PREVIEW TWEET OF THE DAY

From LA Kings fan, Tyler Caldwell, proof of the ultimate LA Kings and Arrested Development crossover... 

 

 

 

 

The Royal Half has been a Los Angeles Kings fan since 1988 and a Half-Season Ticket Holder since 2002. He has seen the following goaltenders play in person for the Los Angeles Kings… Kelly Hrudey, Grant Fuhr, Byron Dafoe, Jamie Storr, Stephane Fiset, Felix Potvin, Cristobal Huet, Roman Cechmanek, Mathieu Garon, Adam Hauser, Jason LaBarbera, Barry Brust, Sean Burke, Dan Cloutier, Yutaka Fukufuji, Jean-Sebastien Aubin, Erik Ersberg, Jonathan Bernier and Jonathan Quick. If you like the hockey equivalent of dirty jokes or enjoy humorous screen-grabs of NHL players and broadcasters with funny captions... man, you are going to like The Royal Half. You can follow The Royal Half on Twitter at @TheRoyalHalf