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The Royal Half Preview: Calgary vs. Kings

Instead of your traditional game preview, TRH takes you through a sneak preview of "Eight Seed"

Monday, 03.11.2013 / 12:50 PM / Los Angeles Kings | News
By The Royal Half
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The Royal Half Preview: Calgary vs. Kings
Disclaimer - The contents of this page have not been reviewed or endorsed by the Los Angeles Kings Hockey Club. All opinions expressed by The Royal Half are solely (and most likely) his own and do not reflect the opinions of the Los Angeles Kings or their Hockey Operations staff, parent company, partners, or sponsors. His current whereabouts are not known to the Kings and he has no access to information beyond the access and privileges that go along with being a half-season ticket holder

Game #24

LA KINGS
13-8-2
28 pts
5th in Western Conference
vs
CALGARY FLAMES
9-10-4
22 pts
15th in Western Conference
 
7:30pm, Staples Center
Los Angeles, CA
FSW
 
MOST RECENT TIME THE LA KINGS SCORED
6 GOALS ON THE CALGARY FLAMES:
 
 
LEE STEMPNIAK VS THE LA KINGS SCORING JEFF CARTER'S GOALS UPDATE:
 

 
 
Last Tuesday, fans at Staples Center thought they were watching the latest incredibly funny video put together by the team at KingsVision. In a piece that was designed to entertain fans during a TV Timeout, the players of the Los Angeles Kings chose whom they thought should play them in a movie.
 
 
What the 18,248 people at Staples Center didn't realize is that this seemingly harmless KingsVision video was actually a highly-orchestrated viral ad campaign for an upcoming feature film about the Los Angeles Kings underdog playoff run to the Stanley Cup. And thanks to a Royal Half Tipster... we've obtained some production stills from the set of Jerry Bruckheimer's upcoming bio-pic of the 2011-2012 Los Angeles Kings.
 
 
There can be only one... man to produce this film.
 
Like any great sport-related team overcoming adversity on their way to victory movie, this script has all the makings of a classic. First off, there are the grizzled veteran leaders... eager for their first true shot at greatness.
 
 
To be honest... this doesn't look much different than an episode of Go On.
 
 
I don't even want to think of the women that Bradley Cooper as Jarret Stoll could get.
 
 
Realistically, Sean Penn probably should have played Jeff Carter.
The only thing that hits harder than Sean Penn as Matt Greene is Sean Penn in Bad Boys.
 
The script also has a great redemption story sub-plot
 
 
This is really just an excuse to post a clip of the only good Owen Wilson movie ever.
 
And of course... there is plenty of comedic relief.
 
 
I mean... if this isn't brilliant casting then what is.
 
Rumor has it that in order to get mega-star Brad Pitt attached to this vehicle, the producers had to offer him the chance to play multiple characters.
 
 
Please, the closest Kyle Clifford will ever get to a Pitt is when he throws the bodies he's killed in one.
 
 
Why Ed Norton isn't playing Trevor Lewis is a mystery to me.
Maybe he was too busy shooting the Kyle Quincey movie.
 
 
Brad Pitt hasn't juggled this much in a film role since Mr. & Mrs. Smith.
 
There are some truly amazing special effects in the film as well.
 
 
I'm not talking about the blood, I'm talking about the special effect of Val Kilmer ever appearing in another film.
 
And like several politically correct Hollywood films... it makes sure that it appeals to people from all backgrounds.
 
 
With the way Alec Martinez has been playing... he's in danger of having a similar career to Erik Estrada.
 
 
The sad part is I don't think Drew Doughty was trying to make a joke when he said
Denzel Washington should play him in a movie.
 
And even though it isn't mentioned in the KingsVision video... I think we all know it's an easy choice for who should play the madman Head Coach that leads this team to greatness with his unique speaking voice and down-home country cowboy expressions.
 
 
The script is actually very nuanced and at parts it plays like an engrossing psychological thriller. My favorite scene is the one with a jilted ex-lover played by Tom Wilson from the Back to the Future franchise.
 
 
"Hey Voynov... say hi to your mom for me."
 
Coming this Summer...
 
 
Turns out.... eight was enough. (puts on sunglasses)
 
And I know that he wasn't a factor in the 2012 Stanley Cup winning team... but Jake Muzzin was in this video and is probably going to win the Norris Trophy this season... so why the heck not...
 
 
 
 
THE ROYAL HALF GAMEDAY PREVIEW TWEET OF THE DAY

@RudyKelly imagines who would play Dustin Brown in "Eight Seed"...
 
 
 
I would have gone with this one.