TRH Gameday 15: Calgary Flames - Stempniak Attack
Wednesday, 02.20.2013 / 2:27 PM
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By The Royal Half
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The Royal Half has been a Los Angeles Kings fan since 1988 and a Half-Season Ticket Holder since 2002. He has seen the following goaltenders play in person for the Los Angeles Kings… Kelly Hrudey, Grant Fuhr, Byron Dafoe, Jamie Storr, Stephane Fiset, Felix Potvin, Cristobal Huet, Roman Cechmanek, Mathieu Garon, Adam Hauser, Jason LaBarbera, Barry Brust, Sean Burke, Dan Cloutier, Yutaka Fukufuji, Jean-Sebastien Aubin, Erik Ersberg, Jonathan Bernier and Jonathan Quick. If you like the hockey equivalent of dirty jokes or enjoy humorous screen-grabs of NHL players and broadcasters with funny captions... man, you are going to like The Royal Half. You can follow The Royal Half on Twitter at @TheRoyalHalf

Game #15
LA KINGS
6-6-2
14 pts
12th in Western Conference
vs
CALGARY FLAMES
5-6-3
13 pts
14th in Western Conference
7:00pm, Scotiabank Saddledome
Calgary, AB
FSW, TSN
BEST STANLEY CUP WINNING COACH TO ONCE
BE THE GM OF THE CALGARY FLAMES:
BE THE GM OF THE CALGARY FLAMES:

Oh, so that's how the Calgary Flames got into this mess.
In the time-honored tradition of previous Royal Half Info-graphics... we present the latest way to quickly track the scoring of the 2013 Los Angeles Kings!!!

LEE STEMPNIAK VS THE LA KINGS!!!
That's right, perennial NHL whipping boy, Lee Stempniak, is outscoring Anze Kopitar, Mike Richards, Jeff Carter, Kyle Clifford, Drew Doughty, Justin Williams, Dustin Brown, Slava Voynov, Simon Gagne, Davis Drewis... oh well... you get the point. Lee Stempniak is outscoring the entire Los Angeles Kings roster. But let's be honest... pretty much everyone on the Calgary Flames are outscoring the LA Kings.

Well... everyone but Jarome Iginla that is.
At least the Los Angles Kings are playing much better than the awful Calgary Flames, right? RIGHT?!?

Oh, this is awkward.
Gather round, LA Kings fans... for I have tale to tell you. Now this may be hard to believe but there was a time when the Los Angeles Kings didn't have the elite goaltenders that they have today... goaltenders so elite that there is an actual Goaltending Controversy™! If you have small children... please cover their eyes now... because they might be incredibly frightened by THIS:
2006-2007

Or... even scarier... THIS:
2007-2008

AHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!
How did J.S. Aubin ever play 19 games?!?
How did J.S. Aubin ever play 19 games?!?
Thankfully, those days are long past. Or are they? But in the midst of what I like to call "The Lean Years"... on March 29th, 2008, highly-touted Kings prospect, Daniel Taylor, played in his only game for the Los Angeles Kings.

And he wasn't even the starter.
The LA Kings were well on their way to winning the Drew Doughty sweepstakes (and if Brian Willsie hadn't scored a goal against the San Jose Sharks, the Kings would have been in the Steven Stamkos sweepstakes) when they lined up against the Dallas Stars for a Saturday afternoon game at Staples Center.

And they were promptly down 5-1 at the end of the 2nd period.
So coach Marc Crawford (!) decided to give Danny Taylor his shot at the big time...

"No, problem. I was the goddamn AHL Goalie of the Month, January 2008.
I got this."
I got this."
And Danny Taylor promptly gave up 2 goals on 10 shots in 20 minutes.



Danny Taylor has seen some dark days...
but none as dark as having Jon Klemm and Matt Ellis playing in front of you.
but none as dark as having Jon Klemm and Matt Ellis playing in front of you.

"Man, those guys suck. I'm totally gonna win a Stanley Cup before they do.
Right, Mattias?"
Right, Mattias?"
After March 29th, 2008, Danny Taylor didn't play in the NHL again until... oh wow... two days ago. And apparently, he cheats. And sings. And tonight in Calgary... he starts against the Los Angeles Kings. It could be worse... the Calgary Flames could have started Barry Brust.

So much greatness in this photo of Danny Taylor.
THE ROYAL HALF GAMEDAY PREVIEW TWEET OF THE DAY


The Royal Half has been a Los Angeles Kings fan since 1988 and a Half-Season Ticket Holder since 2002. He has seen the following goaltenders play in person for the Los Angeles Kings… Kelly Hrudey, Grant Fuhr, Byron Dafoe, Jamie Storr, Stephane Fiset, Felix Potvin, Cristobal Huet, Roman Cechmanek, Mathieu Garon, Adam Hauser, Jason LaBarbera, Barry Brust, Sean Burke, Dan Cloutier, Yutaka Fukufuji, Jean-Sebastien Aubin, Erik Ersberg, Jonathan Bernier and Jonathan Quick. If you like the hockey equivalent of dirty jokes or enjoy humorous screen-grabs of NHL players and broadcasters with funny captions... man, you are going to like The Royal Half. You can follow The Royal Half on Twitter at @TheRoyalHalf




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