The Royal Half Preview: 1/26 LA vs PHX

Saturday, 01.26.2013 / 2:26 PM
The Royal Half

Disclaimer - The contents of this page have not been reviewed or endorsed by the Los Angeles Kings Hockey Club. All opinions expressed by The Royal Half are solely (and most likely) his own and do not reflect the opinions of the Los Angeles Kings or their Hockey Operations staff, parent company, partners, or sponsors. His current whereabouts are not known to the Kings and he has no access to information beyond the access and privileges that go along with being a half-season ticket holder.

Game #4

LA KINGS

0-2-1

1 pt

15th in Western Conference

vs

PHOENIX COYOTES

1-3-0

2 pts

13th in Western Conference

5:00pm, Jobing.Com Arena

Phoenix, AZ

FSW

BEST PLAYER ON THE PHOENIX COYOTES

THAT HAS WON THE STANLEY CUP:

AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAH...

Like anyone on the Coyotes has won the Stanley Cup, please.

BEST PLAYER ON THE KINGS TO CRUSH THE

STANLEY CUP DREAMS OF THE PHOENIX COYOTES:

BEST OPPOSITION BLOG:

Five For Howling

I remember my first time. I couldn't have been more than 15 years old. And I had no idea what I was doing. In fact, looking back... it was a total embarrassment. I wish that I knew then what I know now.

Of course... I'm talking about the act of raising a Pacific Division Champion Banner.

What were you thinking?

There are a few unwritten rules in the sport of hockey... never shoot high on your goalie during warmups. Never shave during the playoffs. And most importantly... never, ever check Wayne Gretzky. But the most recent unwritten rule of hockey is never make a big deal out of winning your division, especially if you didn't even win the conference AND especially if it's the first banner you've ever raised!!!

An artists' rendering of the Jobing.com arena rafters during the past 14 seasons of Coyotes hockey.

It must have been so amazing to see that Banner raised in person, huh?

Or not.

I mean, seriously... what kind of team flaunts its Division winning banners without ever coming realistically close to winning a Stanley Cup?!?

Oh... hey.

So we here at The Royal Half decided to look back at the past 15 seasons of Phoenix Coyotes hockey and help this franchise come up with some more banners they could hang from the rafters so that cute little 2011-2012 Pacific Division Banner won't look so lonely.

I think we all remember where we were when the Coyotes started to average 5000+ fans a season. Oh wait... I'm sorry. My research department just informed me that this banner celebrates the two times in the last two years that the Coyotes had more than 5000 fans at a single game. Well... an achievement nonetheless! Congrats, guys.

Nothing screams cheering for the home team like wearing the color of the opposing team. Am I right???

Never change, Phoenix. Never change.

PS: I love that white clown just above Jeff Carter so much every time I look at this photo.

I know, I know... it's a cheap joke.

Which, funny enough, is the same thing Wayne Gretzky calls his contract with the Coyotes.

I mean... what kind of franchise misses the playoffs with Wayne Gretzky as a part of their team?

This actually isn't a banner that hangs from the rafters.

It's on the front of Jobing.com arena.

The best part of raising your first banner is the hope and promise of raising more and more each year. In all seriousness, I wish the best of luck to the Phoenix Coyotes this 2013 NHL Season... as I know there is a banner they've been desperately wanting to raise for the last couple years...

Good luck this year, boys. This year could be the one!

Make sure you check out Ironsight Design who created these banners. Much like the league when it comes to the Phoenix Coyotes, he too doesn't get paid.

I'm sorry... I just couldn't help looking at it again.

This really is one of Indiana Matt's best photoshops ever.

Oh wait... I'm sorry. My research department just informed me that this an actual photo.

The Royal Half has been a Los Angeles Kings fan since 1988 and a Half-Season Ticket Holder since 2002. He has seen the following goaltenders play in person for the Los Angeles Kings… Kelly Hrudey, Grant Fuhr, Byron Dafoe, Jamie Storr, Stephane Fiset, Felix Potvin, Cristobal Huet, Roman Cechmanek, Mathieu Garon, Adam Hauser, Jason LaBarbera, Barry Brust, Sean Burke, Dan Cloutier, Yutaka Fukufuji, Jean-Sebastien Aubin, Erik Ersberg, Jonathan Bernier and Jonathan Quick. If you like the hockey equivalent of dirty jokes or enjoy humorous screen-grabs of NHL players and broadcasters with funny captions... man, you are going to like The Royal Half. You can follow The Royal Half on Twitter at @TheRoyalHalf

Back to top ↑